Whedon Week: Two TV Series That Weren’t: Serenity and Mulholland Drive
Written by: Tony Lazlo, CC2K Staff Writer
Midway through season two of Twin Peaks, we discover that Laura Palmer’s murderer was her father (Robert Wise), possessed by the wandering evil spirit named Bob. Mr. Palmer himself realizes this and has a nervous breakdown on the floor of his jail cell. Agent Cooper kneels over him and gives him a non-denominational absolution.
I single out this moment because Lynch takes an already beautiful scene and catapults it into the stratosphere with a goofy device: he makes the sprinkler system in the jail malfunction and drench everyone inside, and though I’m loathe to categorize the malfunctioning sprinklers under the hoary junior high literary device of “cleansing rain,” Lynch revitalizes this cliché with such reverent irreverence that I don’t mind.
Serenity begins with one such proud moment. The movie opens with a flashback to an event only spoken of in the series: Simon Tam’s (Sean Maher) rescue of his sister, River Tam (Summer Glau) from a government laboratory. We then see that the flashback is actually a holographic record of the event being watched by the movie’s villain, the Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor). The Operative then executes the government doctor (Michael Hitchcock) who witnessed River’s escape by paralyzing him with a blow to a nerve cluster and allowing the doctor to fall on the Operative’s own sword.
“This is a good death,” the Operative says to the dying doctor, continuing into a nondenominational absolution, assuring him that despite his incompetence, he has done his part to make the world “better.” The Operative assures the doctor that he should feel no shame in his death. He assures him.
Whedon’s characters talk to each other. Growing up so many bad movies pissed me off because the characters never said what I wanted them to say. I hated it when characters in murder mysteries didn’t ask the right questions, and I hated it even more when characters in straight dramas didn’t say the right things to resolve disputes with family or friends. Granted, I didn’t understand at the time that people very seldom say the perfect thing to resolve a dispute – if they did, we wouldn’t have any drama – but I was on to something; I was already starting to recognize clichés in writing. Whedon recognizes clichés, too, and he’s elevated cliché-busting to an Olympic sport.
I’m at a loss to describe how wonderful and refreshing it is to hear an arch-villain assure his victim that his death is honorable and really, truly mean it. Whedon explores the themes of faith and belief in Serenity – two thematic standbys for him – and he does so by showing us the Operative, a character awash in belief. This guy believes in the Alliance with such innocent totalitarianism that he doesn’t hesitate to later admit that his actions are categorically evil – another speech that he delivers with utter, non-clichéd calm.
But despite the strength of the Operative character, I still missed those scary bastards with the blue hands from the series. I also suspect that the Operative may have been a stand in for those guys. In making this movie, Whedon had the clout to score some great actors for the “guest” starring roles, and he got one in Ejiofor, who might be the best actor in the universe. Had the events of Serenity taken place over the course of the series, I imagine we would have seen more of the “two-by-two, hands of blue” baddies … and I also imagine we still would have seen Wash take a tree to the chest after a heroic landing.
Listen, all you fellow browncoats out there reading: I’m right there with you. Wash’s death floored me. I expected Book to die, but I was stunned that Whedon killed off the Xander of Firefly in the movie, and I must also admit that I find the prospect of another Firefly movie or TV series much grimmer without a wisecracking goofball at the helm of Serenity.
But look at Whedon’s track record with couples in his shows:
Buffy and Angel. After they boink for the first time, Angel transforms into the must-be-killed-at-all-costs arch-villain of season two. Buffy eventually sends him to a hell-dimension to avert the apocalypse-of-the-week. They have a few more near-misses, but never connect.
Giles and Jenny. In one of the first great examples of Whedon’s sick sense of romance, our favorite tweedy mentor finds a match in the school’s resident pagan-techno-witch/heart-stoppingly hot MILF — only to lose her to a spin-the-dish neck-snap, courtesy of a fully vamped and soulless Angel.
Xander and Cordelia. Happy couple until Cordelia falls on a spike. She lives but eventually catches Xander smooching with Willow. They break up.
Buffy and Riley. They last about three-quarters of a season until Buffy blows it and Riley bolts for black-ops duty. He shows up happy, scarred and married in the ultra-depressing sixth season just to twist the fucking knife.
Willow and Oz. A happy couple for about a season until Willow finds out that Oz pulled a John Proctor with a luscious lycanthrope babe in season four. They break up, Oz vanishes, Willow switches sexual orientations, which brings us to …
Willow and Tara. Happy couple until Willow gets hooked on witchcraft. As soon as they make up, Tara gets shot in the head.
Buffy and Spike. Another kinda-long-running couple. Spike actually gets a soul to win Buffy’s affection, only to sacrifice himself in the series finale.
Xander and Anya. Whedon’s longest-running happy couple. They last until the Buffy series finale, where Anya gets killed by a supervamp.
Angel and Cordelia. They dance around each other until they almost hook up, but on their way to meet for their first steamy date, the Powers that Be promote Cordy to demigod. Later she shows up in one of those “holy-shit-she-was-a-ghost-the-whole-time” guest-starring roles.
Wesley and Lilah. A threnody of grudge-fucking until Lilah dies and goes to hell.
Fred and Gunn. Happy couple until Gunn kills some guy in cold blood and Fred bails.
Wesley and Fred. Happy couple for half a goddamn fucking episode until Fred catches some exotic, demonic ailment and fucking dies.
Have I made my point? Did I fucking miss anyone? Have all you glutton-for-punishment Joss Whedon fans realized by now that becoming romantically involved with someone in the Whedonverse is like signing a treaty with Nazi Germany? That it means you’re fucking doomed? This is the Whedonesque soap-opera cruelty I mentioned earlier. Whedon likes to torture his fans, and he wrings a lot of drama out of his material by doing so. Wash and Zoe were already having marital trouble in the 14 episodes of Firefly released on DVD. Had the show progressed, they either would have become estranged, or, perhaps later in season two or three, Wash would have taken a tree to the chest. If there’s a sequel to Serenity, I am fully prepared for Simon to fall off a cliff or Kaylee to die saving Serenity from a core breach in vintage Spock-in-Wrath-of-Khan fashion or some such heart-breaking shit. Fuck, I don’t even want to imagine what gruesome fate awaits Mal or Inara if they ever hook up.
All in favor of a “look but don’t touch” policy for the captain and their resident registered companion say aye! Aye!
But back to my thesis: the big plot twist in Serenity – that the Alliance accidentally created the marauding reavers while testing an airborne mind-control drug – would have made a great cliffhanger for season two. In the finale to season two, we would see the Serenity crew watching the holographic tape that reveals the Alliance’s blunder, and we could then follow them all the way to Mr. Universe’s blog-o-planet, where Wash could take a tree to the chest and the crew would find themselves trapped and surrounded by reavers – to be continued!
Season three would then open with the resolution of this situation, with the third season premiere episode bringing us to the end of the events in Serenity.
OK, enough speculative blather. Let’s celebrate Joss Whedon’s first fully successful movie on his own terms. Yes, he’s known for some great script polishes – the venerable Toy Story springs to mind – but Serenity is his first triumph in movie theaters, and it’s both long overdue and well-deserved.
Whedon has a better Millenium Falcon in his Serenity, and he has a more compelling Han Solo in Nathan Fillion’s pitch-perfect Mal Reynolds. I once described Reynolds as a Han Solo who went back to the Death Star and missed, and a Captain Kirk who never got laid. Well, Mal’s still a lonely guy in Serenity, but this guy would never have returned to the Death Star … at least not until this movie. Whedon and Fillion show us the journey that Han must have made after he left Yavin IV laden with the Rebels’ booty; the decision he must have made to accept a purpose into his life.
I must further praise Whedon for Shepherd Book’s cameo. Yes, we all wanted to see Ron Glass as a kickass preacher again, but Whedon doesn’t waste his screentime; no, Book shows up to deliver the movie’s theme: the importance of belief. Not necessarily belief in god, but belief in something, whether it be a cause, yourself or your friends.
Like David Lynch, Whedon believes in evil, but unlike Lynch, Whedon believes we should fight it. I’m not saying Lynch thinks we should capitulate to the forces of evil, but I do think Lynch sees the battle as an inevitable win for the forces of good. Whedon believes no such thing. As Dr. McCoy said in the original Star Trek, “Evil will win unless good is very, very careful.” Whedon takes it a step further, bringing the fight to evil’s doorstep, and he handles the tricky and volatile issue of morality with grace and maturity, and he delivers his ever-so-welcome homilies with wit and heart-breaking gravity. I don’t know how he does it.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: movies and TV shows like Serenity, Firefly, Twin Peaks and Lost Highway are not movies and TV shows; movie theaters and TV sets are merely their chariots. We’re lucky to have Joss Whedon, and don’t forget it.