The Bachelor Finale Scandal…Ah, Who Gives a Shit?

Written by: Rob Van Winkle, CC2K Staff Writer

Fans across the country are still buzzing over the scandal that rocked The Bachelor's Season 11 finale last night, as neither woman was chosen by the man in question. People were outraged by this decision, as it deviated slightly from the script of every single episode of every single season of this show, and as such they did not know what to do with themselves. 

However, despite this minor shift in routine, 99% of the world still could not fucking care less.

Details after the jump!

Leading into last night's finale, Bachelor Dave (might not be his real name, but he was too boring to be memorable) had narrowed his twenty-five contestants down to two finalists: Jenny (might not be her real name), the hot professional cheerleader he clearly kept around because he wanted to bone, and Gertrude (definitely not her real name), the not as hot chick he kept around ostensibly so he wouldn't look shallow. The episode followed exactly the formula of every single other Bachelor finale (though my wife was shocked – SHOCKED – to see that they had SOMEHOW pared all the action down to one hour!), until the end, when Dave did not choose either woman. 

Given the fact that choosing one of these women – either one, really – after making them compete for love for six weeks would have resulted in the easiest night of sex of Dave's entire life, I confess to a moment of slight mild surprise at this twist. However, the good outweighs the bad here, and the lack of an engagement ensures that Dave and his whores will definitely fade into obscurity starting tomorrow, and fans of the show will have to wait until Season 12 to get their fix of forced, impossible romance.