Sex Week 2012: Dating Advice in the Marvel Universe
Written by: Joseph Randazzo, Special to CC2K
In honor of Sex Week, CC2K allowed me to open up our chat forum for some Marvel Universe citizens to anonymously ask some questions about love, dating, and relationships. Needless to say we got some…interesting questions. Below are some excerpts from this chat session.
Steve1944: I’m older than I look, should I tell prospective dates my real age?
CC2K: Age isn’t really anything but a number, but you should really be honest with people you want to get serious with. Some women may find it attractive if you are closer to their father’s age then theirs.
Steve1944: Um, just their father’s age? Yes ok. Let’s go with that.
Footlongclaws: I’ve been in a lot of relationships, and they don’t end well for me or her. I tend to just forget them and just move on. How can I be in a healthy relationship?
CC2K: Sounds like you aren’t letting yourself heal properly.
Brains&Muscles: I have issues with anger and may…MAY have a split personality. Are women ok with that?
CC2K: Depends on the woman, but you should really be working on you and not jumping from relationship to relationship in large 3 mile arcs. Also don’t you have some kids who could really use a father in their life right now?
InASteelCageOfEmotion: So you know when you have a lot to drink and then you can’t…you know? Is that normal? I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for my friend, Rhodey.
CC2K: It’s perfectly normal for some guys to have some performance issues while drinking. Certain prescription drugs can help you maintain your resiliency, but be warned they are not to be taken with any heart conditions.
InASteelCageOfEmotion: …dammit.
LonelyinLatveria: I secretly have low self-esteem and lots of hate, but I hide behind a steel mask and multiple proxies so I don’t get close to people. I’m pretty powerful, but I can’t get anyone to love me no matter how many I put in the dungeon.
CC2K: It’s normal for people to put up boundaries and walls (or steel masks as you put it) to protect themselves from being hurt, but you need to let yourself love and be loved. Maybe online dating or buying a puppy would help?
NameRedacted: I recently outed myself and then convinced the world that I wasn’t that guy, what should I do?
CC2K: Well if people have a problem with you being gay, then they weren’t your real friends to begin with.
NameRedacted: No, wait a second..I’m not gay. I just got the Devil and Dr. Strange to erase my marriage and identity.
CC2K: Um…sure. That makes a ton of sense. Just be who you are.
EyeCanSeeYou: My girlfriend keeps dying and coming back to life, but now I am involved with someone else. She’s a bit of an ice princess, yet dresses very provocatively. What should I do?
CC2K: Well, that sounds like are in a pickle. You are obviously still in love with your ex. Have you given yourself time to grieve, or has your new girlfriend really gotten into your head? Also, is she good or evil? And why won’t she wear a shirt? Is it a distraction thing? These are questions that you might want to ask yourself. Maybe she has low self-esteem? P.S. If your ex does come back to life this time, you may not want to piss her off.
MMIsNotDD: My girlfriends either keep going insane or dying at a certain unnamed assassin’s hand, what should I do? Is it me? I think it’s me. I’m going to blame myself.
CC2K: It sounds like you and this unnamed assassin have unfinished business to attend. You should sit down with him and talk it out. What you should not do is become possessed by unknown forces, build a castle full of ninjas, and then stab that person on a rooftop. Those situations tend not to end well.
FrankCastleIsn’tTryingToHideThatHe’sThePunisher: My wife and kids died. That is all.
CC2K: Glad to see you are taking it well and not overreacting.
FF#1Smartest: My wife is super hot and I can stretch all of my body into any shape or size. There’s no question here, just saying.
CC2K: No one likes a bragger.
I’mASkrull: <—— No, I’m not. Sorry, I don’t have a question; I thought this was a different website… www.Icanchange.com. Still not a skrull. He loves you.
CC2K: Well, change is always good. Just make sure you don’t expect all the people around you to change for you.
TheFashionistaBee: My husband hit me a while back and it was a really big deal. I even left him. He’s really sorry about it and may be a wee bit crazy. Should I give him another chance? Oh never mind, pretty sure I just died. I’ll take this issue up again in a few years.
CC2K: Maybe you should just give him some room to grow for now.
DeadeyeDick: I am so sick of Cupid Jokes. How can I get people to respect me?
CC2K: Many people are defined by their professions. Maybe you can break out of that stereotype by doing something different once in awhile, show people you aren’t just the phallus carrying-and-shooting guy. It’s ok to miss sometimes. And maybe less purple?
Don’tWantToBeTheFlash: Everything I do is so fast, I just can’t help it. I can’t be intimate with a woman more than once. What should I do? Also I love my sister in a creepy way.
RealityBenderSW: No More Questions.
CC2K: …