A Reasonable and Well-Mannered Open Letter to Justin Fischer
Written by: Adam "ManKorn" Korenman, CC2K Video Games Editor
Best Game Ever
Resident Evil 4 is the best game ever made. Hands down.
You don’t agree? Well then, let me rephrase: I think Resident Evil 4 is the best game ever made.
No dice? Fine: I think Resident Evil 4 is the best game ever made, but I could be wrong.
Yeah, Justin. You are wrong. Dead wrong.
I know what your thinking (and not just because I’ve read every article on THETRUTH.NKOREA.GOV and practice Cerebromancy). You expect me to say Call of Duty or Halo was the best game ever. Well, you’re completely off.
Leisure Suit Larry was/is/will always be the best game ever.
Oh, you didn’t play Leisure Suit Larry? Well, that’s probably because you’re a “fad gamer.” Just like all these hot girls pretending to be nerds at the various conventions around the world, you’ve hopped onto the bandwagon now that games are hip and cool. Fifteen years ago, you were probably too busy preparing for an MBA from the Kellogg School of Cereal Management to be tossing back Ecto-Cool and ripping some serious bits of gaming.
DO YOU EVEN RECOGNIZE THIS!?!
While I was straight curb-stomping goombas, I’ll wager you were buried in a book about statistics. Well here’s a statistic for you!
| Number of People on the Earth | 7,122,324,516 |
| Number of People Who Think Resident Evil was the best game ever | 3 |
| Percentage of People Who Disagree | 99.99999999996% |
| How Many People Think Justin Fischer Should Stick to Cereal Litigation | 7,122,324,515 |
| People Who Think I’m Awesome | 6.5 |
What’s that? Is your “scientific” brain thrown by all that math? It SHOULD BE! I spent over three hours Googling that shit, and it was not fun. I could have been bringing up my DPS on LoL instead of wasting precious man-hours debunking your hogswallow, but I am ever on the quest for truth and justice.